Spanking

Whether you agree with spanking or not, it’s important to know the actual science behind it. I mentioned spanking briefly in my Tantrums blog (Here) .

Let’s go more in-depth about spanking.

When I was little, I remember only being spanked once or twice. These spankings came from my father (my parents divorced when I was four) who my sister and I would visit on occasion. I was probably around 5 or 6 when I was spanked for leaving my grandparent’s yard. My dad had told me to stay inside the fence, and being the inquisitive person that I am, not understanding his reasoning and him not being around often, I was inclined not to listen. When I was back at my grandparents house, he proceeded to take me into the bathroom and spank me. I don’t know if he explained why I was being punished or not, but I remember my butt stinging and being emotionally hurt that he hit me. I was always more emotional (whether it be happy or sad, etc) then other children I knew, so the spanking didn’t really help. I’ve heard people say things like, “well, without my daddy spanking me, I would have been worse!” … did they ever stop to think that maybe they were so “bad” because they got spanked in the first place?

Misbehaving or rebelliousness is normal for children. They test the limits because they want to see what they can accomplish. Kids don’t even know “limits” unless they are explained to them anyways. Words are stronger than any spanking, the parents just have to be adamant and strong when it comes to setting rules. The rules should be able to be reasoned. If there is no reason for a rule, it can’t be explained to the child. Telling a child to “not do something” just because a parent is lazy, is not a good reason to set a rule.

Example: if a parent tells their child that they can’t go outside, there should be a good reason accompanying that rule- “you can’t go outside because there’s a thunderstorm” instead of just “you can’t go outside”. The child might whine about it and whining can cause some people to think they require a spanking, when really they just don’t understand why that can’t go outside. Sure, this causes more work for the parents, having to explain everything, but how else will the child learn? (And who said raising a child was easy?) They are new to this world, and everything around them is a chance to express themselves.

“…there is a worrying body of research suggesting that parents who spank will later use harsher forms of punishment.” (Article Here)

It’s important to remember that in the long-run, explaining things to children rather than using brute force is much more successful. They will be less inclined to have behavioral issues and the parents won’t feel like tyrants for beating their kids. With science, a whole lot of things can be accomplished, we just have to listen and learn.

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